Today was the day before my dad's bypass surgery. We were very excited and encouraged from the latest news from the doctor about his left ventricle. His heart is weak but not as weak as they once thought, which is good. He is scared, as we all are, but very optimistic.
I wish that I knew the outcome of the surgery now! I spilled out my heart to God and let Him know how I feel and how I am not ready to handle the worst. I still need my dad and I am not prepared to deal with the lose of him. I finally broke down and just cried, I needed to do that and it felt good to get it out. I am so glad that Stephanie is here with me and just having her has helped me a ton. I will need her tomorrow morning when I see my dad off to surgery and knowing that I might have seen my dad alive for the last time. Just thinking about it is hard but I know that God is in control. I keep quoting Psalm 24 over and over again. It is my favorite Psalm and have turned to it for strength.
"God I know that everything is in Your hands and that You know exactly what is going to happen tomorrow. Help me and my family find the strength and security that you provide for us and come under the comfort of your wing. Oh God I need you and I ask that you be with my dad and my family as we go through this time. I love you and I know that you are the God who is above all other gods and You will be glorified and praised. I thank you for my family, my bff, and friends who are here and praying for us. Thank you for your grace and mercy that you give to us. Amen."
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